Happy Birthday!!! 
The crew 
The ladies 
The family
and...ya know, us! hahaDEE HAW
I pray that God continues to bless you with His awesome Graces...LOVE YA!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
To help or NOT to help
The talk in my classes is: “We all need to help each other out to get through this program!” Seriously, people say this everyday. I have no problem with it. I try as much as I can to help out my classmates and I really don’t mind. BUT, today I started to think differently. Whenever my classmates call me up for help, I drop all that I’m doing (or studying, even during exam time) and spend a good amount of time explaining things to them until they understand the concepts and what not. Several times now, I’ve called them and needed some clarification and you know what? This is the answer and help that I got…Can I call you back I am trying to catch up with some other things right now? And…I don’t know if I could help you, I don’t have my papers in front of me (they are at home by the way). I want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they can’t help me at that particular moment. This really bugs the crap out of me though!!! I don’t know…I just feel like I’m getting burned at times trying to help these people when at the same time I don’t get it in return…Is it wrong for me to feel this way…
The main reason why I’m asking whether or not I’m wrong for feeling this way is because, I’ve learned through Liwanag “…to be generous. Teach me to serve you as I should: To give and not to count the cost…” “To labor and ask not for reward,”…
It just gets really hard at times. I am entering a profession that is geared to serve our brothers and sisters and I just feel that if someone needs help, someone should be there to help them. BUT…I need help myself at times and there is no one there…UGH…so hard!!!
The main reason why I’m asking whether or not I’m wrong for feeling this way is because, I’ve learned through Liwanag “…to be generous. Teach me to serve you as I should: To give and not to count the cost…” “To labor and ask not for reward,”…
It just gets really hard at times. I am entering a profession that is geared to serve our brothers and sisters and I just feel that if someone needs help, someone should be there to help them. BUT…I need help myself at times and there is no one there…UGH…so hard!!!
Catching Up
Brenton: What’s going on? What’s the latest kicks you’ve purchased? Miss you bro!!!
Kirs: Yes, I am finally blogging. You need to blog yourself. Are you busy or something? I STILL DON’T BELIEVE you are busy. Work???...hmmmm haha…j/k, but not really!
Krystal: Hey you…It’s really good to hear from you…I’m trying to hang in there. Take care!!!
Charles: Hi! Gone fishing yet? Come up here and we’ll go in the freaking FOG and COLD…
Fred: Thanks for all the help bro…Really miss jamming with you!!! We need to get together sometime during the holiday break.
LOVERS ANONYMOUS: i miss and love you too???????
DEE: I PROMISE, I didn’t do anything wrong!!!!!! Hahaha…Love you!!!
Adrian: UNCLE!!! How’s life treating you in Irvine? Are the Madrona BOYZ still taking advantage of you??? Or are you taking advantage of them???
Joey Cracker: What up bro? I just recently figured out that there are TONS of fellow crackers at USF…come join!!! Haha
Noreen: How is married life treating you? I am praying for you and Mike!!! Tell him I said “What up?”
Meechy: Hey girl!!! Everytime I’m online you always have your away message on. Are you really that busy at Mesa? Oh yea, send over some of your killer cakes. I miss them!!!
Kirs: Yes, I am finally blogging. You need to blog yourself. Are you busy or something? I STILL DON’T BELIEVE you are busy. Work???...hmmmm haha…j/k, but not really!
Krystal: Hey you…It’s really good to hear from you…I’m trying to hang in there. Take care!!!
Charles: Hi! Gone fishing yet? Come up here and we’ll go in the freaking FOG and COLD…
Fred: Thanks for all the help bro…Really miss jamming with you!!! We need to get together sometime during the holiday break.
LOVERS ANONYMOUS: i miss and love you too???????
DEE: I PROMISE, I didn’t do anything wrong!!!!!! Hahaha…Love you!!!
Adrian: UNCLE!!! How’s life treating you in Irvine? Are the Madrona BOYZ still taking advantage of you??? Or are you taking advantage of them???
Joey Cracker: What up bro? I just recently figured out that there are TONS of fellow crackers at USF…come join!!! Haha
Noreen: How is married life treating you? I am praying for you and Mike!!! Tell him I said “What up?”
Meechy: Hey girl!!! Everytime I’m online you always have your away message on. Are you really that busy at Mesa? Oh yea, send over some of your killer cakes. I miss them!!!
Monday, October 24, 2005
UNBELIEVABLE
Man o man...These next two weeks are going to be CRAZY. It's going to be the second set of midterms and I am definitely not looking forward to these exams. There's twice the amount of material plus the material is much harder to understand.
This week is not going to be as crazy as next week, so I'm trying to get ahead of the game and finish little things here and there.
Friday 10/28: Clinicals (hospital time, hopefully with a NICE client) plus...DEE'S 24th birthday celebration part I (that means: dinner and clubbing aka not my favorite thing), but it's for DEE!!! (DANG...you are getting old..seriously!!!)
Saturday 10/29: off to Sacramento for DEE'S birthday part II (this one is with the familia and special invites...EXCLUSIVE...haha)
Sunday 10/30: ALL DAY studying for the exams...
Monday 10/31: HALLOWEEN...too bad I can't do anything (my classmates told me that the Castro District gets crazy on halloween and there's tons of cops all over the place making sure it doesn't get out of hand. WHY??? because there's tons of naked people "dressed-up" for halloween...come to the CASTRO if you want to see NAKED PEOPLE...Presentation, care plans, homework
Tuesday 11/01: Assessment II exam, homework, reading notes
Wednesday 11/02: Class all day, study
Thursday 11/03: Pharmacology exam, pre-lab
Monday 11/07: Nursing Therapeutics exam
Anyway...Please pray for me! wish i could be in the OC instead chillin' with everyone...MISS YOU ALL!!!
This week is not going to be as crazy as next week, so I'm trying to get ahead of the game and finish little things here and there.
Friday 10/28: Clinicals (hospital time, hopefully with a NICE client) plus...DEE'S 24th birthday celebration part I (that means: dinner and clubbing aka not my favorite thing), but it's for DEE!!! (DANG...you are getting old..seriously!!!)
Saturday 10/29: off to Sacramento for DEE'S birthday part II (this one is with the familia and special invites...EXCLUSIVE...haha)
Sunday 10/30: ALL DAY studying for the exams...
Monday 10/31: HALLOWEEN...too bad I can't do anything (my classmates told me that the Castro District gets crazy on halloween and there's tons of cops all over the place making sure it doesn't get out of hand. WHY??? because there's tons of naked people "dressed-up" for halloween...come to the CASTRO if you want to see NAKED PEOPLE...Presentation, care plans, homework
Tuesday 11/01: Assessment II exam, homework, reading notes
Wednesday 11/02: Class all day, study
Thursday 11/03: Pharmacology exam, pre-lab
Monday 11/07: Nursing Therapeutics exam
Anyway...Please pray for me! wish i could be in the OC instead chillin' with everyone...MISS YOU ALL!!!
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Take my world, LORD
If you have the time reflect on these lyrics...It's amazing!!!
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
Jars of Clay: Worlds Apart
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
Jars of Clay: Worlds Apart
Just the Beginning...
Do you ever find yourself striving for something with all of your heart and in the midst of it all think about giving up...? These past five months in the Bay area has really made me think about a lot of things...my future, nursing, family, Liwanag, my faith…Before I packed my bags and left the OC I wondered how much my life would change when I got myself adjusted to the life as a Graduate student at USF. To tell you the truth, things aren’t the way I imagined them to be. This was the mindframe…
…EASY…ADJUSTABLE…FAST…
What’s the reality…HARD…STILL TRYING TO “FIND MYSELF”…and SLOW…
School and being in the hospital challenges me everyday and I think that’s what keeps me going. I like to be challenged. But to be honest (I think some of you may know this about me), when I am overly challenged, I STOP, I freak out, and I am paralyzed…wondering, what I got myself into and wanting to give up… (does that even make any sense? do you ever experience this?) I think I get SCARED of FAILING…what’s my definition of failing??? NOT BEING the BEST! I have to admit…this is my weakness...I’ve talked to Dee about this and she reminded me that “being the best” is not the right attitude to take on when I’m striving to enter a profession of SERVANTHOOD…Is trying to be the best a bad thing? I think not…But come to think about it, is it something that God wants of me? The other day, Dee told me that her spiritual director advised her to focus on taking the time to be alone and reflecting on the things that passes by as true creations of God’s work. In Genesis 1:31, “God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” That was really an awakening for me!!! Thank you, Dee…Since then, I’ve really been trying to focus on things in this way…Seeing clearly that all I have up here at this very moment are true gifts from God and I need to thank Him for the gifts that he has bestowed upon me.
I believe that God truly sends His spirit through our brothers and sisters to remind us to get back on the path of living a Christian life. More specifically, living out God’s plan. Thank you, LORD!!!
…EASY…ADJUSTABLE…FAST…
What’s the reality…HARD…STILL TRYING TO “FIND MYSELF”…and SLOW…
School and being in the hospital challenges me everyday and I think that’s what keeps me going. I like to be challenged. But to be honest (I think some of you may know this about me), when I am overly challenged, I STOP, I freak out, and I am paralyzed…wondering, what I got myself into and wanting to give up… (does that even make any sense? do you ever experience this?) I think I get SCARED of FAILING…what’s my definition of failing??? NOT BEING the BEST! I have to admit…this is my weakness...I’ve talked to Dee about this and she reminded me that “being the best” is not the right attitude to take on when I’m striving to enter a profession of SERVANTHOOD…Is trying to be the best a bad thing? I think not…But come to think about it, is it something that God wants of me? The other day, Dee told me that her spiritual director advised her to focus on taking the time to be alone and reflecting on the things that passes by as true creations of God’s work. In Genesis 1:31, “God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” That was really an awakening for me!!! Thank you, Dee…Since then, I’ve really been trying to focus on things in this way…Seeing clearly that all I have up here at this very moment are true gifts from God and I need to thank Him for the gifts that he has bestowed upon me.
I believe that God truly sends His spirit through our brothers and sisters to remind us to get back on the path of living a Christian life. More specifically, living out God’s plan. Thank you, LORD!!!
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