Wednesday, October 26, 2005

To help or NOT to help

The talk in my classes is: “We all need to help each other out to get through this program!” Seriously, people say this everyday. I have no problem with it. I try as much as I can to help out my classmates and I really don’t mind. BUT, today I started to think differently. Whenever my classmates call me up for help, I drop all that I’m doing (or studying, even during exam time) and spend a good amount of time explaining things to them until they understand the concepts and what not. Several times now, I’ve called them and needed some clarification and you know what? This is the answer and help that I got…Can I call you back I am trying to catch up with some other things right now? And…I don’t know if I could help you, I don’t have my papers in front of me (they are at home by the way). I want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they can’t help me at that particular moment. This really bugs the crap out of me though!!! I don’t know…I just feel like I’m getting burned at times trying to help these people when at the same time I don’t get it in return…Is it wrong for me to feel this way…

The main reason why I’m asking whether or not I’m wrong for feeling this way is because, I’ve learned through Liwanag “…to be generous. Teach me to serve you as I should: To give and not to count the cost…” “To labor and ask not for reward,”…

It just gets really hard at times. I am entering a profession that is geared to serve our brothers and sisters and I just feel that if someone needs help, someone should be there to help them. BUT…I need help myself at times and there is no one there…UGH…so hard!!!

1 comment:

frances said...

i totally understand what you're feeling. it really is difficult when you help everyone out and get nothing back in return. but i guess, you have to think about it the way Jesus does, did...i dunno. it helps sometimes. praying for you always. =)